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[quote=Anonymous]
Some people just want to be alone in their own house with the new baby.  Even "family" as houseguests is work. She just wants to be able to relax and adjust in private.

My MIL just kind of showed up and literally sat on the couch and stared at me while I nursed. And then would say "what should we take out of the freezer for dinner" (I had cooked meals for weeks before to have a stash of frozen meals on hand).

If you want to be a helpful MIL/grandma:
* Help with the toddler. Take him/her on walks, outings, playgrounds. Keep him/her entertained and tired out. Feed him/her. Give him/her baths and put him/her in pajamas ready for bed. 
* Offer to cook. Keep the kitchen clean and organized.
* Offer to hold/rock baby while mom showers, naps, eats, talks on the phone, goes for a walk alone, plays with toddler, has a minute to herself.
* Offer to do laundry (some people don't like other people doing their laundry). At least fold it.
* Offer to run to CVS, grocery store, etc. 
* Do this all quietly and disappear when you get the sense that you should.

I did this for my SIL/brother back when I was the 20 something single aunt and those weeks really deepened my relationship with my SIL, niece and nephew. [/quote]

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