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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Sounds familiar except it is my in-laws.  They never visited my husband and only came up, at his request, so they could meet me before he proposed.  DH made all the effort.  Kids do not change it so prepare yourself for hurt feelings forever.  With us, two kids later and they only visit 1 time per year.  Only grandchildren--1 time per year.  It sounds great to people who have very invasive families but it makes me sad. They stay less than a week. My kids are great but my inlaws are just very self-involved.  They don't have to take leave to visit but still don't come.  They expect us to visit even though that means traveling far with two little kids and taking leave from work.  As weird as it sounds, I think they believe the current arrangement is more convenient for US.  They feel like they are imposing when they are here so they never come.

I know I am venting back to you but my main point is that you are hurt and sad that your parents are not involved or feeling interested.  I have gone through similar periods with my own parents and I eventually got so resentful, hurt and sad that I exploded into tears to my mom and she was shocked.  I think parents of grown children try hard to let us be our own people and try not to inconvenience us.  I think that sometimes they worry they will say or do something wrong and one thing they often do wrong is stop parenting us!  We still like and want attention even when we are grown up and becoming parents ourselves.

Sadly, though, don't expect things to change.  And DO NOT LET IT SPOIL YOUR PREGNANCY!  Be a happy momma to be!  You will never again be able to eat when you want and not worry about YOUR children so have fun.

One last thought---first grandchildren can kind of rock parents.  It is like reality is actually telling them that they are the "older" generation.  You and your husband are the new center generation.  That kind of reshuffles the whole order of things and some grandparents really struggle with that.

Your feelings are justified but you will find that soon enough YOU will the sun, moon and stars to a little person and that is very very fulfilling. [/quote]

Thank you so much for this. It's so nice to hear that I'm not the only one that has experienced this and you provide some great insights. I am trying hard not to let them disappoint me and am distancing myself so I can prepare for what is most important - my own family and the baby that is coming. [/quote]

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