Reply to Do the adoptive parents "count" if/when the adopted child finds birth parent(s)?

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Reply to "Do the adoptive parents "count" if/when the adopted child finds birth parent(s)?"

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[quote=Anonymous]I'm an adoptive parent and we have a very open adoption. I feel that we -- all four of my daughter's parents -- are all "real" and we all love our daughter immensely. We have different roles in her life, but one is not more real than the other. Over the years, we've evolved into one extended family.

I don't know how my daughter will process her adoption and her relationships as she gets older, but I have no regrets about facilitating her relationship with her biological family who clearly love her and want what's best for her. While my love for and feelings about my daughter are no different than my love for and feelings about my biological son, I also recognize that my daughter has another "real" mother (and another father) who love her very much and want to have a meaningful role in her life even though they were not able to raise her. I don't think it has to be an either/or situation. If a parent can equally love multiple children, why can't a child equally love multiple parents? And there is absolutely no confusion about what role we each play in my daughter's life. DH and I are "mommy and daddy."

I certainly don't think there's anything wrong with adoptees who grew up in closed adoption, and at the same time I don't think there's something wrong with adoptees who grow up knowing all of their parents.[/quote]

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