Reply to Do the adoptive parents "count" if/when the adopted child finds birth parent(s)?

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Reply to "Do the adoptive parents "count" if/when the adopted child finds birth parent(s)?"

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[quote=Anonymous]I agree with 9:50!

I am an adoptee and an adoptive parent.  All my life, I grew up thinking that there was no information about my birth parents; my adoptive parents had been told so and they had no reason to otherwise doubt the agency. (Btw, I hate using "adoptive parents"- my adoptive parents ARE my parents, but in this context, it's easier to keep differentiate.)  I never had a burning desire to find my birth parents, which was more complicated due to the fact that it was an international adoption, but once I started the adoption process for my own child using the same agency, I realized that I should try to search b/c the agency said they still had my file.

My own search hasn't been successful, so I must admit I don't know what it would be like should I ever find my bparents.  I do know that my parents were married and very poor, and they had 3 sons already.  I am a twin, and we were adopted by the same family.  Our bfather is dead and no one knows where our bmom and 2 brothers are.  One brother moved abroad.  A lot of questions were answered, though, even if I'll never meet them.  I will say that never once did I consider that my aparents were any less than my real parents.

On the other hand, as an adoptive parent myself, I do admit that I wonder how my child will feel should she ever meet her bparents.  I hope she would want to search and I will be there for her every step as she uncovers difficult details about why she was placed for adoption.  I will say that in the culture we were adopted from, it is very unlikely that her bparents would want a close relationship with her, so there's also that to contend with.

Good luck, OP!  [/quote]

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