Reply to Do the adoptive parents "count" if/when the adopted child finds birth parent(s)?

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Reply to "Do the adoptive parents "count" if/when the adopted child finds birth parent(s)?"

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[quote=Anonymous]I am neither an adoptee nor an adoptive parent, but I do know several adoptees and adoptive parents and birth parents who found each other after the child reaches adult-hood.  In all cases, the children still consider their adoptive parents their real parents.  They are delighted to have found their birth parents for a sense of completion, to be able to finally voice (and get answers) to tough questions such as why they were put up for adoption and what happened to the family, but it hasn't changed any of these children's relationships.  They value knowing their birth parents, meeting any siblings/half-siblings they may have and especially to have medical history, but except in one case where the child was already estranged from the adoptive parents, they have all continued to consider their adoptive family their family for holidays, relationships etc.

If you are an adoptive parent, you will be able to set the tone of how important family is and teach your child what it means to be a family.  Also, if you are supportive of your child's desires for contact with the birth family and don't act threatened or try to inhibit the search, you will set a healthier feel for the relationships afterwards.  In all the cases that I know, the adoptive parents were very supportive and helped the child contact the birth parents.  And they got what they wanted, a more satisfied child and one who realized how lucky they were to have parents and birth parents who all loved them and wanted the best for them.[/quote]

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