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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]So for those who have "nightmare" tween girls, which tack do you take? Insisting that she still be polite toward you? Or silently gritting your teeth and knowing it will probably pass? I don't want to be unreasonable but I don't want to let eye-rolling, sneering, etc go by without some kind of small message that it's rude, etc.[/quote]

What I did was call my mom and say, "Tell me what I was like at 15." Her giving me her side helped me see things with DD more broadly. I let a lot slide. I re-read How to Talk So Your Kids Will Listen or whatever it's called. I reminded myself of how my heart would sink when my mother would ask an innocent question because I was BUSY and why couldn't she just LEAVE ME ALONE. :)

So I found ways to leave DD alone while also being there for her. I don't get into power struggles over saying please and thank you as long as I keep getting feedback from other adults that she's polite, because it means she hasn't lost the skill. I do insist that food and food-garbage is not kept in her bedroom, but letting it get messy with clothes and papers is fine. She can ask for my help cleaning when she wants. Let things slide, OP.[/quote]

OP here. This is a great post, thanks! And thanks to everyone for contributing. [/quote]

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