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[quote=Anonymous]When did this become a trend?

Last year, two of my cousins had a joint Bat Mitzvah for thier daughters in Israel. We did not attend. I have gotta so much grief for not attending. I didn't detail every single reason, instead focusing on the top 3, but we didn't attend because:

1) I hate flying.
2) I have conflicted feelings about Israel politically and have no desire to visit.
3) This trip would have used up our family's vacation time and budget for the entire year.
4) I have a stepson and we could not arrange custody for the entire trip. (Christmas, absolutely a no go trade from his mom. Very understandably, as they celebrate)
5) It's the one time of year I cannot take off nonemergently.

Now, my brother is saying they are planning an Israel Bat Mitzvah in 2 years. Reasons 1-3 will still apply. Reason 4 very likely will (We have very limited time in our schedule where he is with us for even a week straight) Theres even a chance reason 5 will apply too. ( I'm most junior in a physician group covering an ICU, I can get 2 weeks off in the summer, but not always the ones I want. Winter break is absolutely out.)

I don't want to deal with the guilt trips again. I've never had a problem with destination anythings before, assuming that most reasonable people would understand if guests declined. Last time it was 14 months between save the date and event, and I believe I had to decline well over a dozen times and explain to as many family members that we could not make it work.  I don't want to hear that family is obviously not that important to me or that I'll have to understand when people decline my child's Bar Mitzvah as well.[/quote]

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