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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Before you ask him, assume that he did it. Think ahead - what do you want to happen, assuming that he is guilty (which I think sounds likely)?

Formulate your plan and approach on that basis, then and only then, proceed. Maybe consider meeting with counsel first (if you are at all leaning in that direction).[/quote]

OP here.  This is the issue--I don't know what I'm going to do. If he says she's an old friend and they have an inside joke about red shoes, that's a reasonable explanation.  If he admits to cheating again I will be devastated.  I don't know if I can leave.  I really, really want to provide a happy childhood for my children and I know it's been good for them so far.  DH's job requires moving around the country and therefore, divorce would mean a geographic separation for him and the kids.  Not to mention a very different financial situation assuming the kids would go with me and my much lower earning power.[/quote]

Do what you have to OP. Stay or go, it's your decision but be prepared to carry this matyrdom like a pro for as long as you stay, I don't know many women who can successfully do that.  You can't expose the children to this dysfunction. [/quote]

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