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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Reply to "confrontational spouse"
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[quote=Anonymous]OP here, sorry forgot to address 16:09's comments, which were most helpful, as they probably hit closer to home (I wrote my first post in a fit of anger, feel more balanced about things today). It definitely is a learned and maybe genetic way of dealing with frustration. He was raised with a badgering, critical father (the man would attack DH in particular, ridicule him, berate him, etc), and he and his brother both have hot tempers and are easily confrontational. His mother is like me--cool and non-confrontational, but her reaction was to withdraw from the conflict, which caused his father to bait more. I think it also made DH mad, when he was a kid, that his mother didn't intervene more, which is maybe also why he gets more conflictual with me the more I refuse to engage. I would really like PEP and some other anger and communication work, for both of us. [/quote]
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