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[quote=Anonymous]I realized tonight in the car that I have had it. DH is just an extremely confrontational person, many friends/family members have commented on it, but he refuses to believe it, or says that he doesn't "feel" angry when he argues. He just argues incessantly and it is so exhausting. The nitpicking, the badgering, the raised, angry voice for every little thing, the over-reactions....saying things like 'Jesus christ what is wrong with you" when I do something stupid, but not burning down the house stupid. And its affecting our kids. My toddler son, especially, has a volatile temper and when DH starts yelling, he starts yelling and stamping around the house imitating him. The other, related, problem is that DH is incredibly impatient and maybe also anxious--but whenever my fairly stubborn son resists doing something (getting dressed, taking a bath, etc) DH just manhandles him, just scoops him up and forces him and they struggle. I keep telling my husband that we are trying to model self control and patience for our son, but we have to show it ourselves. I find my toddler hard too, but ultimately I get him to do what he needs to do through other means. I feel like when he is physically forced to do something, it also removes the decision making power from him and he doesn't learn to decide whether and how to listen and of course it teaches him that being physical is okay.

t don't know what to do. Dh doesn't see it, and if I mentioned it, he just goes on the attack. Usually I just shut down, but inside feel deflated, other times I scream back, which is so uncharacteristic. I believe he was raised like this--both his father and brother are like this. He also has pretty much untreated ADD and I think sleep apnea, but has refused to do a sleep study, even though we no longer sleep in the same bed.

he is in many other ways a good father and husband, but the reactivity is just killing me. [/quote]

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