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[quote=Anonymous]I'm feeling really sad today. We've been TTC for years and have had many, many miscarriages. The doctors told us that if we tried de, we'd have no problem. So we were thrilled when we did that and got pg. Then it turned out we had to terminate for health reasons. We could probably do de again and have it turn out ok, but I am so scarred from what happened that I simply cannot ever consider it. I am literally too terrified to be able to ever face getting pg again. So, we're starting the process of surrogacy and that's going ok - we have a plan I can live with. I just feel so.... defeated. And exhausted. And overwhelmed by surrogacy, which is exponentially more complicated and expensive than IVF (and that was a slog to learn about!). And I'm not even sure I want a child anymore, except I still love kids, but we're so much older than we were when this all started and I'm just soooooo tired. I can't believe that after all we've been through we now have to face this huge new mountain of a problem. And it makes me feel guilty that I am unwilling to try when we know I can get pg and it would be so much easier if I could just tolerate the thought. At the same time I know there is no way I could handle it (physically or mentally). You can't just have loss after loss and have that not permanently affect you.

No real advice needed. Just feeling really alone and sad and overwhelmed. I figured you all would understand.[/quote]

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