Reply to How to tell a teen their rudeness makes it hard to want to do nice things for them?

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[quote=Anonymous]I think there’s two kinds of teen sass and I classify them differently.

There’s the blatantly rude: ugh mom you’re the worst, I hate you, I can’t believe you graduated college, that’s so dumb, etc.

Then there’s the rude that happens because they’re teens who think they know everything but aren’t actually being mean: e.g. you ask a question and they have a snappy tone when they answer but the words aren’t bad, just the tone. You check in on their homework/college apps and they sigh exasperatedly and teensplain how they’re on top of it (even if they’re not). They get irritated when you say something completely innocuous that wouldn’t have irritated them two years ago.

The first type of sass is when I would draw the line and hold back from going overboard with helping them with whatever they want. I would give them a ride to a friends house 5-10 min away, I wouldn’t drive them 2 hours to an amusement park.

It’s important to remember that in order to launch, teens need to separate, and to do that they have to push away a little.

And conditional love…you should check on that. Check on your reactions and make sure you’re not taking normal teen attitude to personally. Because if YOU push THEM away then they will just see that part, not their bit in it. So yes check the blatant teen meanness, but don’t overreact on the general sass. [/quote]

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