Reply to How to tell a teen their rudeness makes it hard to want to do nice things for them?

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Reply to "How to tell a teen their rudeness makes it hard to want to do nice things for them?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I can say the words in my question, and I have said variations of this, but it's not quite working and it also doesn't feel like the way I want to model an interaction. It seems like there's something wrong with saying "be nice to people so they give you things back" when generally we expect manners even when nothing is expected in return.

I want my kids to know that I love them unconditionally but if they go around being sassy or rude I'm not going to want to to things that inconvenience me like drive them and their friends to an amusement park a couple hours away or go out of my way to get extra nice birthday presents.

Somehow it comes out wrong, like I'm bribing them to be nice.

Anyone have an effective way to convey this sentiment?[/quote]

Stop doing things for them and tell them why. [b]"I'm not driving you to the amusement park because you're rude to me." The only way someone learns to stop being rude (IMO) is when they realize their actions have consequences. [/b]There's no guarantee it will work, but if you keep taking them places or getting nice presents, they won't have any incentive to stop. [/quote]

This.  [/quote]

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