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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It sounds like your daughter is very upset about the divorce and trying to feel like she has some control over the situation by having all of the information. But getting the information doesn’t give her control and is not likely to actually make her feel better.

I’d focus on her feelings rather than the facts that she’s asking about. This is a coping mechanism. Help her find other ways to cope.  [/quote]

Yes, I have a teen daughter who is like this too. She has a high IQ, knows she's smarter than me, but accepts that I have more lived experience, so she's not disrespectful... but she wants to know stuff, to confirm that I am indeed making wise decisions. It's kind of sweet, and also a bit controlling and take charge.

I tell her as much as I deem appropriate for her age, and if she starts like this around AP exam time (like right now) or around other stressful events like auditions or competitions, I purposefully do not share, because I don't want to stress her out and distract her from her teen life. She knows I always share the important stuff eventually! We have a relationship of trust.

OP, what matters most is that she keeps trusting you. Share as much as needed to preserve your relationship with your daughter and impress upon her that this is confidential information, and that she could get hurt if she blabs the wrong info to the wrong person, in a contentious divorce situation. You're a team and she needs to understand that.

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