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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Is there any way you can do just do less in your current job? I don’t know your situation but it seems to me for most people it would be a lot easier to just dial back and underperform for a while. Maybe look on the side a little. [/quote]

OP here. I've tried this for two years. I also think my boss has "empathy fatigue." He was super supportive the first three months after my DH dropped dead. But sadly a loss like this isn't resolved in three months and I appreciate his perspective--the show must go on. It's a high-paid high-stress job that has been simply rocked by the Trump administration's changes and so the number of changes and pivots and program realignments and spirals of work insanity (we are talking about the fact that I sometimes work until 11 pm at night; and I have worked 5 of the last 6 Saturdays for anywhere between 5 and 8 hours).

I really thought I could hang-on until youngest got to driving age, because of salary and the fact that I obviously am the health care insurer. I also thought the high salary would cover services that would make the job possible like paying for ubers to get kids to activities and paying for cleaner to clean house and wash linens each week and paying for yard care so I would not have to do any of that. But I think I have to face the reality that my kids need ME they don't need my money if they are in this level of pain. [b]And I have to be real that I'm grumpy and no fun ever since their dad died, so I sometimes think it must feel like a double-loss--the day they lost both parents.[/b]... I'm home sick today so I can job hunt and I truly want to cry typing this out.[/quote]

I'm so, so sorry you are in this situation. I can understand some of it -- my father dropped dead (in his 70s but unexpectedly) and then a few years later my brother committed suicide, and my mother succumbed to her own mental health issues. So, I feel this loss of both parents. I'm thankful that i'm middle aged and know how to help myself (therapy, readings, hypnotherapy, group therapy, etc) and I have a happy-go-lucky husband and sons but that kind of abrupt loss takes SO MUCH care to understand and incorporate. Yes, thoughts of death are really normal after a loss like this, and it take a lot of effort to pull out of that kind of thinking.

I hope that you and your kids can hit pause in some way and take the time to heal. [/quote]

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