Reply to Expensive out-of-town concert—how to help teen handle disappointment?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I’m going to guess this is the first time this has come up.  From her perspective, her friend is going and she doesn’t understand why she can’t go.  For this specific experience, you just need to tell her no.  But you also need to explain to her the why behind your no so she understands the boundaries.

First—you are not Larlas mom.  You are her mom and missing school is a non negotiable.

Second—concerts are expensive these days.  If she wants to attend a future concert, she needs to think about how she will pay for tix.

As far as travel and your time off—only you know what you’re willing to do or supplement.  If taking time off work is also a non negotiable, then she needs to be told that so she doesn’t hit you with “but we have Wed off”.

And for expenses—are you willing to contribute if a hotel and food are required?  If not, she needs to understand this and consider it when determining how much seeing this show would actually cost.[/quote]
This is OP and this is very helpful, thanks.

If this was a local concert, I’d likely figure out how to pay for the tickets (the cheapest I’m seeing would be around $350 per person after taxes and fees, so $700, which, as I type this is actually INSANE!) But now you’re adding in a hotel (even a basic Hampton Inn is $200, minimum), gas, venue parking, food, souvenirs, boarding our dog, plus my personal time at work.

Even if I wanted to, I couldn’t spend $1500 on one night and feel happy about it. [/quote]

$350 a ticket sounds about right.  I think part of it is that you feel guilty - you want to want to do it, but you don't.  Or you can't and you feel bad about it.  My daughter wanted to see Taylor swift and that was going to be $4-5k.  It told her it wouldn't be possible.  She was only 11 so I told her I would do everything possible to have her see her when next she she performs.

I personally would figure out a cost sharing to make this happen for your daughter if you can swing it financially.[/quote]

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