Reply to How often do your parents or in-laws visit and stay in your house?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Mine don't stay for long (2-4 days) but they just keep coming and coming. The frequency is crazy IMO and I need a reality check. Is this normal? They also want to tag along on our vacations. For me I feel like a 4 person trip is enough without more people tagging along.[/quote]

My parents are a 2 hour flight away. They come for a week 2 times a year. This works well. I usually visit them 1-2 weekends a year. My MIL lives 2 hours away. She comes for the weekend every other month (sometimes once a month depending on what’s going on) and a full week at Thanksgiving.

SIL lives overseas. She stays with us for a week at Thanksgiving and usually 2-3 extra weekends when she is in the states for work. We have had times that MIL visits were too much but once we set better boundaries around them, it is now manageable. Bigger issue was that SIL wanted to come visit for weeks when our 2 kids were young which was too disruptive and beyond my comfort level. I have discussed with in-laws that 7-8 days is my absolute max for guests. After that, a hotel is needed.

SIL and MIL desperately want to tag along on vacations with us. We did it when the kids were young but had to stop when it became an expectation and felt like an obligation. Ending it didn’t go well but they have come to realize something is better than nothing. I can only handle this once every couple of years. They want intense involvement in our lives which is difficult to manage because they don’t recognize our need for family time without them.

FIL has mobility issues, is in assisted living, and lives local. We see him on average once every 2 weeks, sometimes more frequently. These are short visits or  meals together.

Managing extended family time is completely exhausting! It takes honesty and boundaries and refusal to be guilted. [/quote]

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