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[quote=Anonymous]Agree with other posters. But also will add that it is and feels targeted at you *because* you happen to have kids. But lots of couples don’t want kids at their wedding. Plus a toddler and an infant at a wedding or intimate dinner party is not ideal anyway.
If you can’t pump to attend the dinner, then send well wishes and politely decline. If you don’t want to be away from toddler and infant for a destination wedding (I would not) then also politely decline.
But I emphasize politely.
No little snide remarks or digs.
But just say “Thank you for the kind invitation,  but unfortunately we are unable to attend due to the needs of our infant and toddler. But of course we wish you both the very best for a beautiful wedding and celebration!”
Done.
You won’t “win” this one with your family by trying to guilt them into giving your kids an invitation.
They may try to guilt YOU by saying “can’t you just…[insert whatever solution they think is appropriate for you to arrange for the kids in order to attend]?…”
And you just smile and respond, “sorry, no, we just aren’t comfortable with that. But know that we will be celebrating with you in spirit.”
Or
“That’s a nice idea, but it’s not realistic for us. I’m sure everyone will have a lovely time and please know that we’re so happy for you!”[/quote]

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