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[quote=Anonymous]I am in another very similar position with a stepmother, a father who made the very bad choice to make her his POA, and now as he suffers unnecessarily in the throes of Alzheimers, I’m left with no real solutions or options to help him. When we consulted with an attorney, the only option was to take her to court. Absent severe physical neglect or abuse, the attorney was very frank that we would lose. He said unless we could show things like broken bones, beatings, very severe lack of basic hygiene, depriving of food, etc. but no judge would take away the POA on the basis of her, not following his wishes. He seemed really know his stuff, but of course we wanted a second opinion and we told the same thing by another attorney. The second attorney did discuss the timing of the POA. Had it been signed after an MCI diagnosis then we might have had a chance. In our case, it was signed shortly before. My father probably had MCI when he signed it but that wasn’t enough.

I don’t know your state or if there is any other avenue for you, but I suspect not. It’s really hard to live with, but as somebody pointed out upthread, our fathers made these decisions and it’s very difficult to live with, but we have no power and therefore we have no responsibility.

I do have a friend who called adult protective services and they actually did make some interventions, but in that case there was documentable neglect. They didn’t take away the POA though it just forced the stepmother to acquire some basic care for the dad.

I’m really sorry that your family is going through this.

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