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[quote=Anonymous]Trigger warning - childhood abuse

I'm a survivor or childhood sexual abuse by my older brother. This went on from the age of 4-11 It's a long story but my parents found out and basically didn't do anything. They continued to favor him and while I have gone no contact with all of them they still have a relationship with him.

I read the recent CUT article on sibling abuse and both families described a family history of it happening continuous with various generations.

I have a daughter through IVF. And I did choose the embryo because I knew I didn't want the same sibling dynamic- older boy/younger girl.  I don't think I'd feel the same with just a boy or two boys but my daughter is here and we are talking about a potential second child. That child would be a boy with our remaining embryos and I just can't shake the feeling of what if. what if this cycle of abuse continues. What if it's genetic. What if despite him being younger he goes on to abuse my daughter. I know how unfair it is to put that on a child who isn't here and has no sign of being an abuser and I know how unfair that would be to treat him like that.  I also fear the whole we create the monsters by treating them like monsters. What if I inadvertently treat him differently and he can feel that and resents his sister and me for it.

I just want to know has anyone else been in this boat and is raising a boy? How did it feel to watch them go through puberty and navigate big conversations around consent and sex. Especially if you also have a daughter.

Has anyone else read the cut article? Thoughts on the cycle of it happening again and again I'm certain families despite parents trying and being aware of the dangers?

I am in therapy. A lot. Twice a week, psychiatrist and group therapy also! I'm just genuinely curious if anyone else has walked this path and how they may have navigated. I also know the answer for us might just be to have one child only.

https://www.removepaywall.com/search?url=https://www.thecut.com/article/sibling-abuse-parents-families-when-your-son-abuses-your-daughter.html?&utm_source=ig&utm_medium=social_paid&utm_campaign=hardpaywall_test&utm_content=6864573928207&utm_id=6864573928407&utm_term=6864573928207&fbclid=PAaWdyZAPQd1VleHRuA2FlbQEwAGFkaWQAAAZSyN4PL3NydGMGYXBwX2lkDzU2NzA2NzM0MzM1MjQyNwABpwTQhNykoQP7xah9_Vg714BwUReBTYke8W22Lz6ueZ2arSEJ3W1VohhuVFCd_aem_uaKyyBp_n96fes9RaO3aKg[/quote]

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