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Reply to "11 year old with ADHD - going downhill"

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[quote=Anonymous]OP, your kid is likely deeply overwhelmed. It is such a hard age for every kid — and is especially so for kids with ADHD. My adhd kid was so, so hard at that age.

Somewhere along the line I realized that what DC needed more than anything was a gentle place to land. We had to move past focusing on (frustrating, so frustrating!) individual interactions to the bigger picture of what was happening — stress, rotten self-esteem, a desperation to be seen and known, etc. — and a resulting pattern of behaviors.

If I could go back, I would have a better sense of humor, be a better listener, and treat the frustrating/maddening behavior more as an expression of feelings DC wasn’t yet capable of putting into words. I would help, sooner, to help DC find those words, because that really was the starting point for change.

BTW, DC is now a young adult and is doing so, so much better than I expected/feared in those early adolescent days. If I could I would show this fact to my own younger self — like, “see, it’s okay. DC will be okay. Just focus on the relationship, because you can’t help someone without a relationship.”

Sending my support. [/quote]

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