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[quote=Anonymous]So we have 3 kids and both worked full time until my youngest turned 8, at which point our financial circumstances changed enough that I stopped working.

I don’t think 3 is harder than 2, just more physical labor, especially when they are young. We made enough money to afford good child care, which was the hardest thing to focus on when they were young (before elementary school).

I always expected to work FT and did not want to be a SAHP - I enjoyed my career and my DH enjoys his. A couple of things shifted as DC1 entered elementary school - DH moved to the private sector and a higher salary, which we had never discussed when we were having kids (it also came with more work demands), and it became clear DC1 had a learning disability.

We were still able to manage it for a lot of years, but at some point DH made enough money that my salary didn’t contribute as much, and I was feeling bad at all the things my kids were missing out on when I worked until 4 (home by 5) but DH worked longer hours (until 9 most nights). I finally quit with DC1 entering middle school.

I think if DH had stayed in his regular job with regular hours, I would still be working and we could balance it between the two of us - kids are each in a couple of activities, we just aren’t e careful to not overlap the times, and can carpool if needed. DC1 needed intensive tutoring for a few years, but then it was done (this was while I was working). I don’t remember it being super stressful, just constantly busy.

I think a lot of stress of parenting (excluding a significant special need) is about the personality of the parents. I’m a calm, type A personality (like to be busy, organized, and efficient but I don’t get worked up very much) and I see that I am less stressed than more anxious parents that have one or two kids. I am the same at work, in emergencies, etc., so maybe just consider what your likely approach would be if you had another kid. [/quote]

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