Reply to Do men assume all women over 40 are just looking for a booty call?

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[quote=Anonymous]I’m a 40 year old woman in a committed relationship with a 30 year old man. We’re talking marriage and have started looking at houses together.

To be blunt, it sounds like you’re not actually communicating with men and you’re making assumptions. For example, your story about the man you dated who never mentioned children, so you never thought about them or talked about them - that’s very, very odd. Most women do think about whether or not they want kids, and do bring it up to men they are dating.

The reality is that most men want sex no matter what age you are. I remember in my 20s, it was extremely common to sleep with a guy you liked and then never hear from him again. Most men just want sex, no matter what age you or he are.

What does get better as you age: your ability to filter through men and weed out the ones who aren’t to be taken seriously. And also your ability to communicate what you want and what your standards are.

Sounds like you’re using OLD? Most men on there just want sex. It’s true now at 40, and it was true back when we were 25. I went through several thousand profiles before I found my current BF. You need to have a better system for filtering out eligible men so you aren’t wasting your time on the ones who don’t want a relationship. Read about the burn the haystack method. If a guy gets sexual, immediately block and move on. Don’t waste your energy getting angry at him, it’s not worth it. Most men are dogs.

The fact that you are THIS worked up over a few losers on a dating app who want a hookup shows me your energy is in the wrong place. That kind of energy actively repels good men. Not that you’re against hookups, but that you have a chip on your shoulder about men. That comes across in your vibe and how you communicate, and good men will be put off by it. You also sound quite passive in advocating for what you want.

I can give more advice on OLD profiles and how to message men if you’d like. I found that the older I got, the more higher quality men I attracted on OLD.[/quote]

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