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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My DS is a nice 12-year-old whose favorite subject is art class and I would say he does seem more creative and more sensitive than other boys his age.

Meanwhile my nephew is ten, plays ice hockey and is popular at his school. He sometimes giggles at my son because he thinks he seems a little, well, gay. My son usually just shrugs off my nephew and doesn't let it bother him. Over the Christmas break, I spent a night in the hotel room with the two boys. The kids had been getting along really well but then it was time to get ready for bed. My nephew stripped down to his boxers and my son got worried when he realized he forgot to pack his pajamas. I whispered to him that it was okay, he could just sleep in t-shirt and underwear like his cousin.

When my son came out of the bathroom, my nephew laughed, "Nice tighty whities!" My son blushed and rolled his eyes. Even though my nephew was just messing with him, my son was very embarrassed and hated looking uncool in front of a younger cousin. I'm afraid my son will likely face more incidents like this in middle school and high school and it seems so unfair.

Most of his friends still think there is something wrong with being gay or at least that it is second best to being straight. What's your advice?

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I have a son like that, who is now a teen and thinks he will likely be gay or bi. My advice is to support him in his gender nonconformity. Make it clear to him that he can be as "feminine" as is natural for him and still be a boy. I would be very, very vigilant that nobody succeeds in convincing him that he might be "trans" just because he is not a typical boy. As my kids tell me, being gay (which is sadly still - or again? - a commonly used slur in middle school) is subject to a lot more mockery than being trans, which incentivizes kids to go down the route of rejecting their bodies. My son, who is also autistic, is comfortable in his femininity, but he says that if I hadn't made it so abundantly clear to him that being gender nonconforming (and gay) is OK, he might have thought that presenting as a girl is the easier route.

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