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[quote=Anonymous]OP here. Kid has been fully evaluated and has a couple diagnoses, is on medication and doing pretty well in most situations now after YEARS of work. I have asked my husband to get evaluated for ADHD many times (the child in question has severe ADHD). He will not answer has been willing to do therapy a few times in the past which has always helped for a year or two and then he kind of goes back to being reactive and unproductive. He took a more stressful job a couple years ago over my strong objections and now has no time for any of the things that used to help, including exercise.

To be clear no red lines are crossed and I don’t feel ready to issue any ultimatums since I am obviously not perfect either and sometimes am short with the kids or don’t handle things how I should. But I recognize it and try to repair and change things because it’s important and I can really see how it affects our relationship with the oldest child in particular. I am just very tired of this dynamic of me so hard to get this kid in particular help and in a good place and he comes in and can’t stay calm with them so they end up having a big argument, sometimes over teen attitude and sometimes over more legitimate issues. I am already the one implementing and enforcing consequences most of the time based on our clearly communicated rules so it’s not like I am just letting everything go. [/quote]

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