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[quote=Anonymous]People are insecure, defensive, and competitive (all of these qualities are related). I do think American culture either causes this or makes it worse because of how our economy and education system work.

I am fortunate to have a small group of longtime friends where we don't have these issues, and I think the key was that pretty much all of us went through some kind of serious setback in our 30s where we had to learn on the others, and it was humbling, and it made us just support each other instead of competing. But we also had to be open to it, and willing to turn to each other for support. I think that's what I see now -- people are afraid to be vulnerable with other people because they are afraid of judgment, and in many cases that fear is justified.

In order to make lasting friendships and real community, you have to be willing to admit you don't have it all figured out, and not expect others to have it figured out either. I see this so much with parents -- so many missed opportunities to connect because people are afraid to admit they are struggling and are too quick to judge other parents for not being perfect.[/quote]

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