Reply to Is there a word to describe this parent-child relationship?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]So to answer the time above, he has visitation and I have legal custody. I know the terms vary by state but it means DC is with me more time, and this is for specific reasons that have to do with bad things STBX did. STBX is not complaining about things that impact his time but rather how DC is spending their time when they’re not with him. It is not impacting his visitation time. [/quote]

I wrote the PP above.

I was in a similar situation to yours.  I had full custody and full decision making, and he had limited supervised visitation.

He has no right to make decisions about what happens on your time.  I agree 100% that he's trying to control you.

But his time needs to be seen as a commitment, with a substitute time offered if there's something that really can't be rescheduled.  [/quote]

To reiterate: I’m not touching his time. He just thinks that if there is “more free time” then DC should “be there for his dad.” It feels really messed up.[/quote]

I get that.

If my ex had done that, I know his motivation would have been to avoid me being home alone, with free time that I could use to date.  I wasn't dating at that point, I was recovering from an abusive relationship, but he was convinced I was and kept making ridiculous accusations.  His goal wouldn't really have been to get the kid, it would have been for me to cancel the playdate, practice etc . . . and keep the kid home where he could supervise.

I would be very clear.  What happens on your time is your decision, but you will continue to prioritize his time with the kid(s).  I realize that his time isn't the issue, but I'd want those words in the messages so that they can't be used against you in court.  [/quote]

Ha, you know the drill. Alienation and withholding have been flung around so I’m constantly on alert to avoid those kinds of things being used against me. Right now I’m always worried about that but more worried about DH trying to use DC for entertainment/moral support/companionship. It seems inappropriate. [/quote]

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