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[quote=Anonymous]Going through a rough divorce and STBX DH just does not understand normal child development and it shows in his expectations of our child. Our tween is starting to be very independent and has a happy social life an extracurriculars that they have gotten a lot of support and confidence from during such a difficult time. STBX was never close to DC and disengaged from their activities and friends. Now they’re freaking out and mad when DC has obligations or wants to do social things. STBX insists that any of the time spent doing these things should revert to additional custody time to him because “DC’s priority should be time with their dad.”

I disagree and think that the last priority of a healthily developing 12 year old should be their parents. I think that social time and time spend developing new skills and interacting with others is much more important at their age. I don’t expect my Dc to prioritize me. In fact, it would be weird if my DC was sitting at home with me when they could be having friends over or learning something new. It feels like it’s time for DC to spread their wings, and my job is to feed them and drive them around.

Is there a word for the kind of parent-child relationship DH is expecting? It seems like a really unhealthy dynamic to me but I don’t know how to succinctly describe it to my therapist.[/quote]

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