Reply to What do women mean by emotional availability?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am happy with a man who is self aware enough to understand what emotions he is feeling and to deal with them in a healthy way. That can be a guy who prefers to deal with sadness or anger on his own or via exercise or a therapist -- whatever works for him. I don't necessarily need a guy who is going to share all his feelings with me.

The main problem with a lot of men is that they have been trained not even to acknowledge emotions, because they were raised with the belief that emotions are feminine or "weak." What happens with these guys is that they still have emotions (they are human) but shove them down or channel them in unhealthy ways because they have no ability to recognize them, name them, and deal with them. A lot of these men are the ones with rage issues, because anger is the ONE emotion a lot of men believe they are allowed to have, so when they experiences grief, envy, sadness, embarrassment, etc., it just becomes anger. Thus: rage.

So I don't need an "emotionally available" guy. But I don't want an emotionally stupid guy who can't even figure out "[b]oh I'm feeling disappointed and a little embarrassed about being passed over for that promotion at work, instead of taking that out on my loved ones as rage, I will go for a run, maybe process my thoughts in writing, and then make peace and move on[/b]."

Emotional maturity, not emotional availability.[/quote]

Testosterone drives a lot of our actions. I don't understand why women want to define how we should act We are different for God sake. We are not going to react the ways you want us to react. I feel like we are trying to "reengineer" men into the kind of men that women want. It creates resentment on both sides.[/quote]
That's funny. Testosterone drives your actions, yet you're able to hold your temper at work, swallow your pride when it benefits you, and behave yourself when a cop pulls you over so you don't get your head slammed on concrete. And then with women, you're suddenly unable to control this testosterone and refuse to control your lowest behaviors. You're a pathetic, excuse-making bully. [/quote]

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