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[quote=Anonymous]My husband has become low-contact with his parents within the past year (narcissistic mother, enabling father). We’ve been married almost 20 years, and while this has been a long time coming, the past year has still been emotionally difficult for him.

They didn’t speak on Thanksgiving. Around midnight, my MIL sent a brief “Happy Thanksgiving” text; he replied “Happy Thanksgiving,” and there’s been no contact since. He handled the day well outwardly, but I could tell it affected him. He seemed down for a day or two and then rallied.

This will be the first Christmas we won’t see his parents at all. Christmas has always been [i]the[/i] holiday in his family, so I expect it may hit harder than Thanksgiving. I’m also trying to balance being present and joyful with my own family while being mindful that his family relationships are, for lack of a better word, fractured.

For those who’ve been through something similar, what actually helps? I don’t want to ignore the situation, but I also don’t want to keep dragging it into the foreground if he’s trying to manage it internally. Is it best to let him set the tone and simply be available? To check in directly? To focus on creating a calm, positive holiday and follow his lead?

I’m not treating him like he’s fragile, I just want to be a supportive spouse and would appreciate any perspective from people who’ve navigated this.[/quote]

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