Reply to Handling Christmas Transition from a gazillion gifts as they are now working adults

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[quote=Anonymous]Have a grown up discussion with your kids, either individually or as a group depending on sibling and family dynamics, in which you literally explain that you would like to transition from the kid version of Christmas focused on Christmas morning gift opening and parents making Christmas "magical" for kids, to a more adult version of Christmas that is more about family togetherness.

Ask them how they feel about this, what they envision for a more adult version of Christmas, what traditions matter a lot to them and which don't. Then, figure out what makes sense.

If the youngest feels this is unfair, consider doing some transitional years where maybe the older kids opt for one or two smaller gifts and a check but the one who is still a student gets a more traditional haul, but everyone knows ahead of time that this is how it's going to be and you let people know you will balance it out financially. Also if this is something the youngest wants, suggest that you focus on gifts that will be particularly useful for their post-grad life with an eye towards things that will last and get a lot of use.

I might also suggest the idea of shifting to a group experience gift which I think a lot of 20-somethings would be excited about. Like instead of holiday gifts, everyone buys one another a book you think they'd like, and then you all go skiing.

The point is, if you want to shift towards a more adult Christmas, you need to treat them like adults which means talking to them, considering their perspective, and making it a joint family decision instead of something you dictate and impose on them.[/quote]

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