Reply to How to emotionally prepare for separation/divorce?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP good for you. Don't join the group of miserable women who stay for whatever fill in the blank reasons.

Don't dream your best life. Instead LIVE your best luck.

I wish my mom left my dad, but she made up a million reasons to stay. Unfortunately she has a lot of company on this forum. There are a lot successful, attractive and wealthy women on this forum and yet they stay in miserable marriages acting as if they can't rebuild a better life for themselves.

Oh boy I'm sure I just triggered a bunch of them [/quote]

Many people move on from cheating and have happy and joy filled marriages. Come on now, you are the one that sounds bitter and crazy. The quality of the relationship prior to cheating matters.

It sounds like OP’s situation is untenable, likely he continues to cheat or didn’t show remorse or change. That’s tough to come to terms that the only freedom and happiness is to get out- rip off the band-aid.

I’m 55 and in a world of “gray divorces” due to cheating.  I’ve seen 5 recently - neighbors, acquaintances, friends. 4 out of 5 the cheater didn’t want to stay, zero remorse and left. The other one was a confession and lots of work. They seem very happy now (good friend)- can even talk about “that time”. [b]A lot of marriages hit rough patches 42-49 or so., even those w/out cheating.[/b] [/quote]

I will attest. Mid 50s here, with friends similar age or a bit older. We went through it and witnessed it with close friends…and the menopause and manopause (men go thru hormone stuff too:)).

We all weathered it and at drinks and dinner with 2 of our best couple friends could all joke about that time now. It’s like you go through some crazy battle - the bottom of the U. We are all empty nest now (well my last is a senior in HS) and really calm and happy now. Lots of new hobbies, trips, etc [/quote]

This. Longtime neighbor friends - the other 2 couples we are very close with  who weathered babies to now empty nest now seem so content, wise and happy.  We now all get together a lot and I can’t describe it- but the change from those “heavy kid” years to now—-it’s nice to look back - it’s like older, wiser people watching a former version and seeing lessons learned. [/quote]

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