Reply to Oprah podcast on estranged families

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I watched it. I am estranged from my mother as of February, and I should have done it years ago.

The misconceptions out there are astounding. Many parents are blaming therapists. I've not had a therapist to tell me to go NC with my mother. 
Many people say, "but, it's your mom," as if that makes abuse and cruelty ok. 
Growing up, there was always drama. As I have raised a family of now adults, with my wonderful husband, I realized it is possible for people to treat each other respectfully and with regard, not with constant criticism and passive aggression. That it's possible and necessary to allow people to be who they want to be, not who YOU want them to be, and to celebrate that.

There is a statistic that 30% of Americans are estranged from a family member. I believe it.

It's just very sad. 
[/quote]

This. It's likely the rare therapist who suggest estrangement. It's usually years of therapy and trying strategies until death by a thousand papercuts. None of the adults on there seemed flippant with their choice and it's not a Tiktok trend. Also, it's always been around. That was mentioned, but they made it sound like it haqs skyrocketed. i am not so sure. There were estrangements on both sides of my family as well as people who just moved far enough away nobody bothered them or asked questions.

I hear you about having a good spouse and creating your own family where you realize it is truly possible to be respectful to eachother. We have a calm household with out constant criticism, fighting, aggression and passive aggression despite the fact we both came from chaos. I truly hope we are allowing our kids to be themselves and we work hard to break dysfunctional cycles. I would never want my kids to experience the emotional pain I experienced growing up.[/quote]

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