Reply to Need advice about serious issues in a private boarding school (New York). We are new to the US and don’t know what to do

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Reply to "Need advice about serious issues in a private boarding school (New York). We are new to the US and don’t know what to do"

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[quote=Lina2025]I completely agree that the roommate situation should have been resolved immediately. We asked for a change several times, but the school refused to move the boys. That was very surprising, especially considering my son reported being hit and there were racial comments involved.

About the custody issue — yes, that is what worries me the most. We were able to drive into campus late at night, take our 12-year-old son, leave with him, and absolutely no one noticed or contacted us. The duty person didn’t even respond to my message informing them that we were taking him. For a boarding school, this seems extremely unsafe and I don’t understand how that is considered acceptable in the U.S.

Regarding staying calm — we fully agree. We are already in the process of transferring to another school and trying to understand if we can receive a neutral recommendation, because we are concerned about retaliation.

We are not looking to sue for money; we just want clarity about safety standards and what actions parents would normally take in this situation. As foreigners we are still learning how the system works, and this was very shocking for us.

Thank you again for your reply. I appreciate your perspective.

[quote=Anonymous]I'm a parent of two boys.

I can only comment on some of this.

3) Your son needs a new roommate.  There is no way to prove what was said to who.  But your son reported that he was hit, and there are racial issues being discussed.  The head of school should want this resolved by separating the kids.  That's the only way to get this kind of situation to die down.

5) Zero chain of custody for a 12 year old at boarding school sounds negligent.

People swearing is unprofessional but more common here.

I'd keep things calm and have a meeting with the head and say the school does not seem to be a fit and the roommate is bullying. Ask the head if they can give good exit recommendations or not.  See what the person says.

I think you only need a lawyer if you want to try to get money back.  These issues about swearing, an ingrown toenail, fights between kids don't sound like legal matters.

You didn't get the school product that you thought you were paying for.  Unfortunately, sometimes the consumer pays the cost of mistakes.[/quote][/quote]

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