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[quote=Anonymous]OP here - thanks! I probably would have offered to pay a small amount for anything more than 30 minutes, but my sister never even tried to have a conversation with me about it.  It was "you are this horrible, exploitive aunt, who is taking advantage of my teen" when she knows that I am always trying to do kind things for my nieces/nephews, I treat them to special things when we are out and about (within my ability), and I send them gifts, check-in with them, and I've offered many times to host them at my home (and I have!).  It's not like I'm some random person who doesn't have a good relationship with my niece.

She also has a bunch of younger siblings and has been forced to take care of them constantly, and both parents' homes are super chaotic.  She doesn't have a lot of friends to hang out with.  She's mentioned how much she wants to go on a trip with me. I'm in my 30s and she is a lot like me and loves cozy cafes, bookstores, cute shops, picnics, ect. Her parents have not been able to travel abroad with her, and her mom loves intense, outdoorsy, tent-camping, which most of her kids love, but my niece isn't into it, and so I thought this would be perfect.

I am also super angry with my sister, so I'm sure that is coming off in my post/comments.  I think her fiancé is fine. I get along great with him, and I love that his parents have assumed the role of "bonus grandparents" and have been doting on the kids.  I don't like how my sister has complained and ranted about how horrible he is, almost daily for a year.  I completely understand needing to vent at times, but this was non-stop, and there was always another crisis, and listening/support/venting was almost entirely one-sided.  When I've gone through a lot of struggles or our parents are struggling with something, she has basically done nothing to help....she'll listen for 30 seconds and then say, "Well, I've gotta go!".  She went from demanding my attention to vent about this for over a year (including when she broke up with him) to rapidly telling us that she is back together and getting married, and I need to now completely flip my plans and make myself 100% available for her....no questions asked.  I'm happy to celebrate them, but I question whether she genuinely wants to be in a relationship with him, or if she is trying to use him for childcare and financial stability (he helps her a lot).  I suspect that she will ask for money to help pay for the wedding from our parents (who pay for a TON for her and paid for her first wedding, while she treats them like crud when they don't 100% agree with her).

The gentle suggestions about exploring other, more affordable locations have been from immediate family (parents and sisters).  I wouldn't normally suggest that to others, but she wants us there and has relied a ton on our parents and to a lesser extent me and our other sister to cover things for her family over the years, so her expecting us to pay a huge amount for our entire family (it would cost me at least 3k) is a lot and she expects us to do this gratefully and not question her on the location, price, anything.  Because I said I would be going without my husband and kids, she said that I am not prioritizing her and her wedding.  [/quote]

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