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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]What is better really depends on the family.  Benefits of assisted living are socialization and readily available care and services.  When you have your parents at home with caregivers, you have to find the caregivers and if you can't or someone calls out, it is on you to still find care for them.  But, if you have to move your parents from their home area, that can be really hard on them to lose friends, churches, and other parts of their community.

As for costs, it will totally depend on what options you choose.  What additional fees might be charged is a great question to ask every facility you tour.

Whether it's cheaper to age in place or go into a facility depends on the number of hours of services your family needs.  I have seen situations where people are paying double to stay in their homes versus what they would pay for independent living.  It's not cheap to get care if you need a lot of hours per day.  Also, there is a wide range of cost for assisted living.

One thing to think about is what happens when that is not enough.  Is there a stepped up level of care such as skilled nursing or memory care?  How does that work?  Again, this is facility specific.

I think you are on the right track with your questions.  I also think that you probably want to start actually identifying your options and touring places because it takes time to make the move if that's the route your family decides is best.  [/quote]

I'm battling ignorance from my family wrt my 90+ mother. My relatives have no clue how impossible good home care is to find and they have no clue that these people quit/leave their jobs at the drop of a dime. The minute she needs help toileting they're going to learn how impossible it is to find help. They are clueless. I hate the combo of a strong opinion with complete ignorance. It is a nightmare and I mostly pray she isn't being abused.

My relatives think people they know in passing who work cleaning houses or work at the grocery store part time would be reasonable carers. They don't know these people and won't spend $60 to do a basic background check. The reality is they care more about their foolishly anticipated inheritance than they do my mother. I also have a 20 nothing niece who think it is abuse to move her into one of the best retirement homes in the area. She is so clueless yet she is trying to drive this bus when we all know she and her dad want an inheritance more than anything.

When the worst happens, which it will, we will have nothing in place and good luck getting a spot for her in a decent place when faced with an emergency.

[/quote]

She's YOUR mom. Her brother and his daughter don't trump you. 
Make sure you have POA. Make sure you button up her will so that you direct everything and inherit what's left (if anything). You're the only one with her best interests in mind vs "getting something in the end". Promise you'll do it this weekend. [/quote]

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