Anonymous
10/18/2025 08:44
Subject: Re:Assisted living vs in home care
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:What is better really depends on the family. Benefits of assisted living are socialization and readily available care and services. When you have your parents at home with caregivers, you have to find the caregivers and if you can't or someone calls out, it is on you to still find care for them. But, if you have to move your parents from their home area, that can be really hard on them to lose friends, churches, and other parts of their community.
As for costs, it will totally depend on what options you choose. What additional fees might be charged is a great question to ask every facility you tour.
Whether it's cheaper to age in place or go into a facility depends on the number of hours of services your family needs. I have seen situations where people are paying double to stay in their homes versus what they would pay for independent living. It's not cheap to get care if you need a lot of hours per day. Also, there is a wide range of cost for assisted living.
One thing to think about is what happens when that is not enough. Is there a stepped up level of care such as skilled nursing or memory care? How does that work? Again, this is facility specific.
I think you are on the right track with your questions. I also think that you probably want to start actually identifying your options and touring places because it takes time to make the move if that's the route your family decides is best.
I'm battling ignorance from my family wrt my 90+ mother. My relatives have no clue how impossible good home care is to find and they have no clue that these people quit/leave their jobs at the drop of a dime. The minute she needs help toileting they're going to learn how impossible it is to find help. They are clueless. I hate the combo of a strong opinion with complete ignorance. It is a nightmare and I mostly pray she isn't being abused.
My relatives think people they know in passing who work cleaning houses or work at the grocery store part time would be reasonable carers. They don't know these people and won't spend $60 to do a basic background check. The reality is they care more about their foolishly anticipated inheritance than they do my mother. I also have a 20 nothing niece who think it is abuse to move her into one of the best retirement homes in the area. She is so clueless yet she is trying to drive this bus when we all know she and her dad want an inheritance more than anything.
When the worst happens, which it will, we will have nothing in place and good luck getting a spot for her in a decent place when faced with an emergency.
She's YOUR mom. Her brother and his daughter don't trump you.
Make sure you have POA. Make sure you button up her will so that you direct everything and inherit what's left (if anything). You're the only one with her best interests in mind vs "getting something in the end". Promise you'll do it this weekend.
Anonymous
10/18/2025 08:32
Subject: Assisted living vs in home care
For us, in home care is far cheaper. Assisted living was $3000 a month but laundry etc was extra. I ended up doing laundry myself, changing sheets, getting called in by staff for various reasons.
Parent doesn’t need 24 hour care, just 2-6 hours every other day.
Parent doesn’t need 24 hour care, just 2-6 hours every other day.
Anonymous
10/18/2025 08:15
Subject: Assisted living vs in home care
Assisted living/memory care is almost always less expensive. My in laws paid 250K for round the clock at home care in Nova. This was just an aide, not a nurse.
My mom moved to AL and subsequently memory care this past March. We are currently paying about $7500 in memory care (no extra levels of care needed right now). They did just raise rates for 2026 by $1600 a month, which is quite a bit. I expect it to keep going up but will be a while till it reaches the 20k+ a month of at home care. She gets better food, more interaction and socialization than my in laws got.
My mom moved to AL and subsequently memory care this past March. We are currently paying about $7500 in memory care (no extra levels of care needed right now). They did just raise rates for 2026 by $1600 a month, which is quite a bit. I expect it to keep going up but will be a while till it reaches the 20k+ a month of at home care. She gets better food, more interaction and socialization than my in laws got.
Anonymous
10/18/2025 07:55
Subject: Assisted living vs in home care
Anonymous wrote:“ If you are in assisted living, are there additional fees aside from the main fee of paying for the room/apartment? ”
No but as the level of care increases so does the monthly cost of care.
This is only partly correct. There may be additional fees. For example hair services may be extra. Doctors may be extra. You really need to ask so you u destined what is included.
Anonymous
10/18/2025 00:12
Subject: Assisted living vs in home care
“ If you are in assisted living, are there additional fees aside from the main fee of paying for the room/apartment? ”
No but as the level of care increases so does the monthly cost of care.
No but as the level of care increases so does the monthly cost of care.
Anonymous
10/17/2025 20:33
Subject: Re:Assisted living vs in home care
Anonymous wrote:What is better really depends on the family. Benefits of assisted living are socialization and readily available care and services. When you have your parents at home with caregivers, you have to find the caregivers and if you can't or someone calls out, it is on you to still find care for them. But, if you have to move your parents from their home area, that can be really hard on them to lose friends, churches, and other parts of their community.
As for costs, it will totally depend on what options you choose. What additional fees might be charged is a great question to ask every facility you tour.
Whether it's cheaper to age in place or go into a facility depends on the number of hours of services your family needs. I have seen situations where people are paying double to stay in their homes versus what they would pay for independent living. It's not cheap to get care if you need a lot of hours per day. Also, there is a wide range of cost for assisted living.
One thing to think about is what happens when that is not enough. Is there a stepped up level of care such as skilled nursing or memory care? How does that work? Again, this is facility specific.
I think you are on the right track with your questions. I also think that you probably want to start actually identifying your options and touring places because it takes time to make the move if that's the route your family decides is best.
I'm battling ignorance from my family wrt my 90+ mother. My relatives have no clue how impossible good home care is to find and they have no clue that these people quit/leave their jobs at the drop of a dime. The minute she needs help toileting they're going to learn how impossible it is to find help. They are clueless. I hate the combo of a strong opinion with complete ignorance. It is a nightmare and I mostly pray she isn't being abused.
My relatives think people they know in passing who work cleaning houses or work at the grocery store part time would be reasonable carers. They don't know these people and won't spend $60 to do a basic background check. The reality is they care more about their foolishly anticipated inheritance than they do my mother. I also have a 20 nothing niece who think it is abuse to move her into one of the best retirement homes in the area. She is so clueless yet she is trying to drive this bus when we all know she and her dad want an inheritance more than anything.
When the worst happens, which it will, we will have nothing in place and good luck getting a spot for her in a decent place when faced with an emergency.
Anonymous
10/17/2025 16:56
Subject: Assisted living vs in home care
When my MIL was in memory care, we had someone come a few times a week to engage with her, take her outside for fresh air or to appointments, and chat with her (what we would have done if we had been closer). So it was an added cost but it made her life much nicer, and hiring the person wasn't difficult since we only needed someone with a good personality rather than medical experience.
Anonymous
10/17/2025 16:35
Subject: Assisted living vs in home care
I’ll echo what some of the other posters have written - in home care can be very expensive and even if you plan on having someone just a few hours a day, the agency may have difficulty placing an aide because they typically want full time hours.
Anonymous
10/17/2025 12:15
Subject: Re:Assisted living vs in home care
We have been through both with my mom in the last year, echo everyone above who says there are many variables. Including - importantly - personality. My mom had a stroke, spent month in rehab and then went home with in-home care through an agency that was actually quite affordable. The model is having a CNA level person living in home, providing all needed help with ADLs, cooking, light housework, can take to appointments if they are licensed driver etc. The cost this agency ended up being something in the neighborhood of 10K per month. My mom really wanted to go home, wanted to be with her dog, didn't want "facility living" etc. But it was a massive disaster, and really because she just could not handle the dynamic and treated the lovely young women terribly (she burned through 5 before the agency dropped her.) We did everything we could to facilitate a better relationship but she was lonely and mad about her situation and being dependent on someone else and having one person there all the time wasn't a good fit for her. We ended up transferring her to an assisted living (cost about the same) which she doesn't like a lot but the rotating staff coming in and out just works better for her personality. Also, theoretically, there is more of an opportunity to be social and connect with other people though that is also dependent on the person. Good luck to you - this is tough stuff to navigate.
Anonymous
10/17/2025 11:17
Subject: Assisted living vs in home care
In home caregivers cost $40 an hour through an agency, maybe $25 an hour if you hire independently. It’s incredibly expensive, approaching $30k a month for 24/7 care. It could be comparable if you need fewer hours—but then you are getting less care.
Anonymous
10/17/2025 10:58
Subject: Assisted living vs in home care
I compared the cost and assisted living was less expensive. But, if you live close by, they don't need someone there at night and only for one shift a day or a few times a week, it might be less expensive to do in home help.
Anonymous
10/17/2025 10:15
Subject: Assisted living vs in home care
Assisted living is much chepaer than in home care unless you just need a few hours a day. Sometimes in assisted living you will also have to pay for aids which for full time is over $200,000 a year. You also have to pay about $30/day for meds.
Anonymous
10/17/2025 10:12
Subject: Assisted living vs in home care
For many people, they have a strong desire to stay in their home. However, the care needs may make it safer for them to be in care. The other side is I think often financially, sale of the paid off or greatly increased in equity primary home funds the care that is needed, so may need to sell home to afford care. Could downsize or could use the funds for for asst living. Yea in many places you have to pay additional other fees. My mom is disabled and is at home with dad caregiver and aides if she went to asst live we would still have to pay for aides bc she is totally disabled. A recent thread discussed some of the additional costs and annual price increases.
Anonymous
10/17/2025 10:11
Subject: Re:Assisted living vs in home care
What is better really depends on the family. Benefits of assisted living are socialization and readily available care and services. When you have your parents at home with caregivers, you have to find the caregivers and if you can't or someone calls out, it is on you to still find care for them. But, if you have to move your parents from their home area, that can be really hard on them to lose friends, churches, and other parts of their community.
As for costs, it will totally depend on what options you choose. What additional fees might be charged is a great question to ask every facility you tour.
Whether it's cheaper to age in place or go into a facility depends on the number of hours of services your family needs. I have seen situations where people are paying double to stay in their homes versus what they would pay for independent living. It's not cheap to get care if you need a lot of hours per day. Also, there is a wide range of cost for assisted living.
One thing to think about is what happens when that is not enough. Is there a stepped up level of care such as skilled nursing or memory care? How does that work? Again, this is facility specific.
I think you are on the right track with your questions. I also think that you probably want to start actually identifying your options and touring places because it takes time to make the move if that's the route your family decides is best.
As for costs, it will totally depend on what options you choose. What additional fees might be charged is a great question to ask every facility you tour.
Whether it's cheaper to age in place or go into a facility depends on the number of hours of services your family needs. I have seen situations where people are paying double to stay in their homes versus what they would pay for independent living. It's not cheap to get care if you need a lot of hours per day. Also, there is a wide range of cost for assisted living.
One thing to think about is what happens when that is not enough. Is there a stepped up level of care such as skilled nursing or memory care? How does that work? Again, this is facility specific.
I think you are on the right track with your questions. I also think that you probably want to start actually identifying your options and touring places because it takes time to make the move if that's the route your family decides is best.
Anonymous
10/17/2025 09:53
Subject: Assisted living vs in home care
Which is the better option for families? Which is the more affordable option? If you can get in home care is that better in the long run? If you are in assisted living, are there additional fees aside from the main fee of paying for the room/apartment? Do you end up needing to also pay for caregivers? If you need to pay for caregivers then isn't it more affordable to age in place at home? I'm new here. I'm sure I could dig for answers on this forum if needed but if anyone can give a high level answer as we explore this for my parents I would appreciate it. Dad may also need memory care. They are currently doing ok at home with part time caregivers but I think soon we may need to increase the level of care.