Reply to AITAH if I ask my coworker to stop using misleading, inflammatory language?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]No I deal with this a lot at work. I am a manager of a group of people who are very good at their core function but the type of person who is good at their core function also seems to have a high rate of overlap with a few specific other behavior traits.

This is what I suggest: 
- figure out a name for the behavior and a rationale that is non inflammatory. 
- Talk to his boss about wanting to have a conversation with him in private about it. 
- Do not name his disorder in either of these conversations. 
- Tell him privately, directly (this is key), firmly and kindly what he needs to stop doing. 
- tell him to hold his comments and you will answer the questions after class. 
- tell his boss you have had this conversation, in writing. Be direct but not litigious in the tone you use and make sure that it's framed in "as we discussed"

You are NTA but you need to protect yourself.[/quote]

Yes, excellent response. I agree. If your colleague is sensitive to his deficits and argumentative, it's going to get hairy, OP, so you need to choose your words with care to avoid being accused of discrimination. On the other hand, neurodivergent people may have difficulty understanding diplomatic turns of phrase, and it's more effective to come straight to the point. You know him better than we do and will have to strike a fine balance. I have a husband and son on the autism spectrum, and they both take feedback by their work colleagues very dutifully without getting offended (now whether they can rise to follow guidance is another matter, but they try!). But then, they'd never have made such remarks in the first place...

Best of luck.
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