Reply to I need to get off the emotional rollercoaster with my husband’s BPD mom

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[quote=Anonymous]I think you already know, OP. Yes, you set boundaries for how you will/won't spend your time. Telling your husband how to spend his isn't your place, and is highly likely to backfire, but you don't have to be part of it.

"Every time your mother hoovers you back in, it hurts my heart because I know how likely it is that she's just going to discard you, again, in a few month's time. I understand you want to spend time with you mom, but I don't. You deserves consistent, respectful love and it's hard for me to be around people who aren't willing/able to show you that love. I'll be at _______. Call me when you're back home."

And then you walk. Be there for him, be willing to listen if/when he wants to debrief, but you don't have to be there to witness this anymore. You've seen enough to see the pattern, and have communicated it to him. What he does with that is his business.

I'm sorry. This dynamic is rough. He's lucky to have someone who can help him get some perspective on her mess.[/quote]

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