Reply to I respect Bruce Willis' wife for having him receive 24/7 care in separate home

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My concern is him not understanding where he now is, where his family is, being confused, feeling abandoned, getting depressed. [/quote]

He likely does not know who they are anymore, but can enjoy their visits. With my own parent they sense emotion, but don't know who you are. So if you visit and are happy and loving, the person with dementia catches the mood. If you are exhausted and losing it (which I saw happening even with 24-7 care, because caregivers need time in their own home without a constant stream of strangers) the person with dementia senses the frustration and can become stressed.[/quote]

Along these lines when mom was stressed out and unhappy with 24-7 caregivers for dad my brother turned to ask and said "do you know who she is?" (pointing at mom). Dad said "I don't know who she is, but she's mean and bossy." Once dad was properly cared for in  Memory Care he seemed to like mom again when she visited because she wasn't snapping at him and unhappy. He didn't look like he felt abandoned at all. We would come visit and observe him signing, laughing at lunch with a group or doing chair exercises with a group and smiling before he even knew we were there. As things progressed he napped a lot, but never seemed unhappy. With progression he showed less affect/emotion, but we are told that is normal and people in my support group who had parents at home saw the same thing-flat affect over time. Sometimes the flat affect was due to the person being medicated to prevent aggression, but we were lucky dad was aggressive.[/quote]

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