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[quote=Anonymous]Sorry, here's the full text:

To all,

The loss of life in the Newtown shootings saddens us all.  Your child's safety 
at CA is of the utmost importance to us and we will remain vigilant in providing 
a secure environment.  We will continue to lock all outside doors during the 
school day and look into installing a buzzer system for the front door.  There 
are security cameras inside and outside the building that are monitored at the 
front desk and record continuously.  The front door is closely monitored and all 
visitors must sign in and state their reason for being in the school before 
gaining access.  Given the small size of our school, the presence of over 30 
adults in the building during school hours also provides a measure of awareness 
and safety for your children.  
 
On Monday, our counselors will be attending morning meetings for the Lower 
School students and be available for all students, as needed, as the students 
begin to process and cope with the knowledge of this tragedy.  Please keep in 
mind that children respond to tragedy differently than adults.
 
Over this weekend, consider using the article below as a guide in helping you 
talk to your children.

Helping Children  Cope with The Newtown Shootings

Robert Evans, Ed.D. and Mark Kline, Psy.D.

"Unbelievably, there has been yet another school shooting, this time with awful 
carnage, 20 students and 6 teachers dead. And barely two hours from Boston. We 
have had too many of these in America. Each time, our sense of fragility looms 
even larger. We're reminded that none of us can entirely guarantee our own 
safety or that of our children, our teachers, our colleagues and friends.
 
There is no technology or template for coping with this kind of event. We feel 
shock and disbelief, sorrow for the victims, anger at its unfairness, despair 
that guns remain so available to those who commit these atrocities. And most of 
us think immediately about how to be helpful to our children.
 
This, too, can seem difficult. We worry about saying too much or too little, 
about not having enough information, about saying the wrong thing. Fortunately, 
the things that have been helpful in past tragedies that have struck our schools 
and communities are likely to be helpful again. Though there is no perfect 
approach, these four points that can help when talking with children.
 
1.    Don't over-assume what the events means to them. It is common for an adult 
to feel, "If I'm this upset, they must be even more so." But this is by no means 
always true. Students react differently depending on their closeness to the 
situation, their own personalities, and so on. Some may be deeply moved, others 
less so. Some may have many questions, others fewer. Not all will be intensely 
affected. Showing little reaction does not automatically mean a student is 
hiding or denying his or her feelings. At the same time, a few students who have 
little immediate reaction may become upset later on, even in a way that doesn't 
make sense to them. There is no universal timetable.
 
2.    Children and adolescents are remarkably resilient. They may become quite 
upset, but given a chance to express what they feel, most usually resume their 
normal lives—and often do so more rapidly than we adults. There is reason to 
worry about students who show sustained—not temporary—changes in their mood and 
behavior. In such cases, it is good to consult a school counselor or other 
professional. But most students donot benefit from extensive, probing 
questioning about their reactions. They do profit from simple, direct 
information and from parents and teachers being available to respond to their 
questions and to listen when they themselves want to talk.
 
3.    If you receive difficult questions it can be useful to understand these 
before answering them. Often a question is spurred by a feeling. Rather than 
plunging into an immediate answer, it can be helpful to learn what motivates the 
question by asking, "What made you think of that?" or "Can you tell me what you 
were thinking about?" Once you know the source of the question, it is easier to 
answer effectively.
 
4.    There may be questions you cannot answer, which can make you feel 
inadequate. But all of us are typically more comforted by straight talk than by 
false assurances. Rather than inventing a response, it can be much more helpful 
to say, "I don't know," and to ask, "What have you heard?" or, "Did you have an 
idea about that?" And don't worry if, in responding, you become emotional a time 
or two. It is alright for students to know that adults are moved by losses.
 
Above all, coping with such an awful event is not primarily a matter of 
technique, not something best handled by a particular set of tactics that 
deviate sharply from one's familiar patterns of communication. The regular 
routines of both school and family life are, all by themselves, a source of 
comforting continuity and assurance. Adults will rarely go wrong by relying on 
what is most basic between them and their children—caring and connection. At 
these times, your presence—your simply being with them, their knowing that you 
are available—can be just what they need."
 
Make sure you take the time this weekend, and everyday, to hug your child.
 
Regards,

Susan Johnson

Susan J. Johnson, Ph.D.

Head of School
Commonwealth Academy
1321 Leslie Avenue, Alexandria, VA 22301
Office: 703-548-6912 | Fax: 703-548-6914 | www.CommonwealthAcademy.org
Susan_Johnson@CommonwealthAcademy.org

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