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[quote=Anonymous]Like PP said, at first there was love bombing and he was great. He planned amazing dates and made me feel special.

Then he started doing and saying things to push me away. He’d start talking about other women, when I’d come over to spend time with him he’d retreat to the garage, I found him back on dating apps, etc.

I’d break things off and he’d come back begging for another chance, promising he’d change. He actually did therapy for the entire duration of our relationship, which just gave him a bunch of buzzwords to use to manipulate me, like using “you’re making me feel shame” as a get out of jail free card.

After about 4 years I finally realized his ideal relationship with a woman is via screens/text. I discovered he had been texting/sexting ex-girlfriends and random women on social media. His relationships with his kids, family, and friends are the same - he just wants to text, send memes, occasionally talk on the phone, and only deal with seeing them in person once or twice a year.

It’s really sad to see how it impacted his kids. They’re teens/early 20s and worship him, because if they complain or try to hold him accountable (he left when they were very young), he withdraws and stops speaking to them.

More important is to realize why YOU are attracted to this dynamic. I could not for the life of me figure out why I tolerated this for so long - any reasonable person would dump someone like that. So why didn’t I? I had to figure out my own attachment style (anxious) and work through how I was re-creating the same dynamic I had with my avoidant parents. Focus on yourself, not the other person. [/quote]

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