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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous] I'm in the same boat and struggle with the back and forth i have about they are parents but they were awful, father a total player who is now married to the other women and the need care but won't move, won't accept any help.

They fall all the time and never mention it until you show up at the door and see the cuts and bruises.  They lie to the doctors about their living situation and at the end of the day I am not letting it bother me and they decided this was what they wanted.

Not our problem.  I do what I can and [b]I am not going to let them think just because they are old that all is forgiven.[/b]  Not to mention they are born again Christians so they really feel they are forgiven and the rest of us are beneath them.  [/quote]

You don't have to forgive them to be kind to them. I already posted this but -- be who you are. Are you only kind and giving towards people who "deserve" it or are you kind because YOU are kind? I'm not sure your religious beliefs but being able to give to others and be selfless is an incredible privilege. Don't squander it out of spite.[/quote]

This is a little too rosy. The ideal? Sure, but there will be a tumble of emotions for OP while she’s there based on her upbringing and simply human nature. OP, do what you can to feel you are a decent person accepting that we are all flawed in some ways then recognize you are not required to be a handmaiden when they have resources and made the choices they did. Difficult personalities magnify everything. Pop in and out. Help them hire support.Compartmentalize to keep your sanity. If abuse kicks up, walk out each time it happens until he sees you won’t take it. IMO of course. [/quote]

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