Reply to Do you think sharing past trauma with your older teen/young adult child is bad?

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[quote=Anonymous]My kids knew that my mother could be hypercritical when they were in preschool and elementary. Over the years, they have witnessed a lot of explosive anger and verbally abusive behavior from their father. We discussed their father and his issues ever since they were little, because he had access to them and they needed strategies to manage him. It's tragic that children need strategies to deal with an adult that is less in control of his emotions than they are, but that's the lot they were dealt in life.

Any time you share heavy stuff with kids, you need to think about how it's going to land. Kids' worlds are centered around themselves. They have a limited capacity for perspective, because they don't have a lot of life experience. But ALSO, teens can be clear sighted and pragmatic, which is sometimes very useful when discussing trauma.

Your kid is plenty old enough. But words matter. They need to be factual and objective, so you appear as credible as possible. [/quote]

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