Reply to Do you think sharing past trauma with your older teen/young adult child is bad?

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[quote=Anonymous]DD 17 and I are pretty close. But, we do also argue a lot. We have very different personalities  - Type A (me), Type B (DD). It's hard for us both, but we love each other to bits.

We were talking about life and stuff,  and got on to the subject of our sometimes fractious relationship. We are close enough to talk about our relationship and what makes us crazy about each other .. when we are calm and joking with each other.  We do each acknowledge our failings. I have told her that I regret some of the way I parented her; she knows that she could do better.

Then we started to talk about family relationships, and somehow got onto the subject of my relationship with my mother, who  was abusive to me, physically, mentally, and emotionally. Needless to say, I am not close to her.   I told DD some of what my mother did to me without really thinking about whether I should tell her.   I did explain that my mother, who is an immigrant, lead a really hard life, and though that does not excuse the abuse, she did the best she could.

I know this did not change her view of my mother who now has dementia.  She adores her grandmother.

But, now, I'm second guessing myself.  Did I overshare?  [/quote]

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