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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]PP here. Oh, i read your final paragraph one more time.

Specifically on bedtime or independence, here is what is working.

For independently doing a life routine, that is coming with age. For the absolute first time ever, my 10.5yo got it. End of school year, it was the first times he reliably got stuff done. Like a light switch. He isn’t medicated since he actually has hyperfocus (and not hyperactive). We could consider it later, but he’s functioning well enough at school.

For bedtime, a lot of the routine goes like this—
“I’m going to set a 5 minute timer. I’m going to check that you have brushed your teeth when it goes. Did you hear me? (Repeat sometimes) Starting.. now!” (It helps that it’s the same phrase every night. Once they do “hear” me, they’re like “yeah, yeah brush my teeth.”

And they don’t rush off to do it. Which is the beautiful part. I now have 4-5 minutes to step away. Whereas I used to stand over them and be like “do it now!”

I sometimes distantly and pleasantly shout a little reminder. “1 minute left!” I hear them scramble to start, lol.

Or, the timer rings. I let them hear the volume. I don’t stop it on my phone as I approach. “It’s ringing. I’m coming to check that you have brushed your teeth” I say as I walk slowly, giving them some mercy as I hear them scramble again to do the right thing.

Sometimes excuses, “I didn’t start, I was …” I usually hand out mercy, but sometimes it’s a light bop on the butt (sports style, not a spank). Maybe “Ok, I’ll set a 2 minute timer this time.”

I can sometimes get angry here, but it’s like 10% of the time. Usually, it’s me being able to walk away in peace for those 5m and that helps.

When done, I say it again for pajamas.

I say it again for “last drink, last pee and in bee.”

You could do it again for quiet playtime, etc.

The time isn’t giving them 5 minutes, it’s giving me and DH time to not stand over them. It used to bug him that they didn’t start right away. But that’s the point.

Thanks!![/quote]

That’s way too much prompting for a 10 yo. [/quote]

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