Reply to Over 50- Do you find your girlfriends always staring at you to see how you are aging or have aged? or have 'done' ?

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Reply to "Over 50- Do you find your girlfriends always staring at you to see how you are aging or have aged? or have 'done' ?"

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[quote=Anonymous]I wouldn't say it's "all" women do but yes, it's something women do. Especially with friends you see periodically, I can feel people checking to see if I've gained/lost weight, and some scrutiny of my face and hair for signs of aging. Sometimes you get a "wow you're looking well" which means you don't look noticeably older than last time or appear to have some positive change (procedures are not a big thing with my friend group, so it's usually a little weight loss or like a new hairstyle/color). If people notice negative changes they don't say anything.

I don't know. I think it's reflective of what people are worried about for themselves. It's my friends who talk a lot about wanting to lose weight or being unhappy with diets who are most likely to side-eye my body or comment on my weight. It's my friend panicking about gray hair who is most likely to comment on my hair. And so on. It's not really about me, it's about them. At least they don't say anything when it's negative.

I try to give compliments on hair and clothes because these tend to be less touchy subjects. I never comment on weight, either up or down, I just don't want to focus on that and also there are lots of reasons people gain or lose and I don't want to step in it. The only weight-related topic I'll get into is exercise -- I like talking to people about what active things they do for fun because I play tennis and am always looking for new hitting partners. But I try to avoid the weight aspect of this conversation. Like even if I've gained weight, I don't say "ugh I feel slower on the court because of the extra weight," even if I might think it. Because I just don't want to have a conversation about weight. It's too loaded for women. It's literally never a productive conversation.[/quote]

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