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[quote=Anonymous]We’ve had some issues with our five year old that recently resolved.

Our routine is quick - about 20 mins. Pick out stuffies, go to the bathroom, brush teeth, put on jammies, read two books, get in bed, sing song, lights out, mom leaves. It’s been the same routine for years. Baths we do earlier (before dinner), only 2x per week, not part of the bedtime routine.

The problem when bedtime issues pop up is that our usual method from 1-2-3 Magic of counting then a break time is a bad idea - if he’s delaying lights out, a break time is a win.

The key for us generally is that books are LAST. No books until you’re 100% ready for bed. So, if I have to count and I get to three - only one book. That has solved 90+% of issues over the years.

If I have to count a second time (rare, but we’ve had phases where it’s popped up over the years) and I get to three, we do it “the hard way.” I physically force him through the rest of the bedtime routine, silently. Bear hug carry to the bathroom, pull pants down, lift onto potty, lift off, pants up, pry mouth open, brush teeth, etc, etc. I don’t hurt him or anything, but I’m not gentle and I’m all business. He HATES it, and honestly, so do I, but I will not be held hostage at bedtime. I probably haven’t had to do that in over a year, it’s really more a toddler thing.

Our recent issue has been RIGHT at lights out time - laughing, endless questions, silliness, calling me back for a “bad dream” 10 seconds after I left. I was at a loss. Mostly I think I just had to ride it out, but I also had some luck with calmly saying “Lately, you’ve been able to do XYZ thing (he’s been getting some new privileges lately) but if you can’t handle going to bed calmly, we may need to rethink that.” That’s been surprisingly effective even though it’s abstract and not immediate. He’s getting older and much more mature, which really helps.

Also just some meta advice: if bedtime is your husband’s deal, don’t try to troubleshoot! Let him! Don’t micromanage. [/quote]

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