Reply to Alz Stage 6: Did your LO do better or worse in Memory Care?

Forum Index » Eldercare

Reply to "Alz Stage 6: Did your LO do better or worse in Memory Care?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]People with Alzheimer’s don’t tend to get better regardless of their circumstances.[/quote]
This is not entirely accurate. While it is progressive and terminal, the right setting and sometimes medication can make a big difference in quality of life.

OP it's hard to advise without knowing more about your situation. Where is your LO now and how do they feel/behave? What resources are available? I am sorry you are in the Long Goodbye, it is such a difficult thing.[/quote]

OP here. She is at home with me and my family. I am her only child. She has some money saved, but not enough to last more than three years in MC. She is ok with us. She is docile and stays in her room. She can walk, yet slowly. Very, very confused, cannot carry on a conversation at all, zero reasoning skills, about 50% urinaty incontinent. I bathe her, bring her food (she can feed herself still). She still knows my name, but forgets my husband’s, but knows who he is to her.

I am just TIRED after taking care of her for 4+ years now. I worry though, that she might decline so quickly at a MC facility. I also looked at memory care home-type settings, and am considering that route, as it is cheaper, and doesn’t have all the bells and whistles of the bigger MC  facilities.

She stayed for a week in a MC institution last year, and was not pleased at all. I wonder if she would get used to one now. [/quote]

That sounds so difficult, I am sorry. We were able to keep our LO at home until the final year of his life, but the physical burden of care for a large man who had become incontinent had become too much. The label of "Memory Care" is less important than the safety and comfort of the facility. Visit as many as you can and pay attention to the mood of staff and residents- try to gauge how they interact. Are rooms and commons areas arranged in a safe way, and are they clean? How about smell? How do you feel in the place? Ask lots of questions, including restrain policy and communication expectations. Ask about their approach to dementia patients and avoid any place that is still trying to make them remember things. Ask about how they comfort, and using therapeutic lies (therapeutic lies are soothing, it's a bad name for meeting patients where they are and giving them information that is soothing). Ask around in the community about places- if you know nurses, they often have all the tea. Distance is a factor as well, your LO will receive better care if you and others are able to visit frequently.

Ultimately, you want a place that is safe for your LO and recognizes that they are still a person to be treated with respect, care, and dignity. That isn't always the fanciest most expensive place. It is a hard decision, but sometimes it is impossible to care for your LO at home. Try not to feel guilty about this. You will still be caring for them, but in a different way.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics