Reply to sibling keeps making same mistakes and comes back for help

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]So you're sister is a battered woman and you're tired of hearing about it? Read Lundy Bancroft books. Educate yourself.[/quote]

I'm aware. We have been supporting her for over a decade and a half. I'm not a professional. [/quote]

I understand. It is very difficult to continue draining yourself emotionally and otherwise (financial help, resources help, etc.) only for the person to return to the same situation repeatedly. It's as difficult as dealing with someone who has substance addiction IMO.

Just like other addictions, there isn't much you can do unless and until the person decides they want to quit. From my experience, anyway.[/quote]
Being a victim of domestic violence is not the same thing as being an addict. FFS. You people are sanctimonious and ignorant.[/quote]

At what point do we say, "we have provided you with copious amounts of resources to help. the barrier is in you. we are unable to do anymore".  That is when professionals are needed. Families can provide supports, but they can't change the mindset. [/quote]

Exactly.  There is a stage when a person MUST be responsible for their own choices especially when given all the resources necessary, to include a family willing to help. Especially if an individual does not or will not seek out professional help to find out why they are choosing to return or remain in an abusive situation.

I've had a family member who was abused violently. When it came to light, the family provided all the support necessary (and these were lower-income people at the time) and took in the woman & her 4 minor children until she got on her feet. She never returned to the abuser and divorced him.

I've also had a friend who had an abusive husband and she was provided the same...the entire family, friends and neighbors network got her out of the home into her own apartment, got her a well-paying job, provided her with her own car, furniture, etc.

Within months of leaving she had fallen under the spell of her abusive husband and the cycle repeated itself.

I really don't know what the difference was/is in these situations. Why do some women return? In my family member's case, I can only say that the husband was point-blank told by every man in the family (and some of the women) that if he ever came near or touched the woman again he would have the sh!t kicked out of him.

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